Did you know that we’ve been in the middle of a Loch Ness Monster sighting drought? Last year marked the first time in almost 90 years that Nessie hadn’t been spotted for an entire year. In fact, there hadn’t been any ‘confirmed sightings’ of the elusive cryptid for 18 months, leading some veteran spotters to voice concern that perhaps the famous monster had finally given up the ghost.
But wait! Something awesome just happened: Two different people, both using Apple Maps, captured screenshots of something measuring approximately 100ft long, with what appear to be two large flippers, powering along just under the surface of the loch. Experts from the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club have been studying the images and Gary Campbell, club president, reports that they’ve been steadily ruling out alternative explanations, leaving it increasingly likely that these images are brand new ‘confirmed sightings’:
‘We’ve been looking at it for a long time trying to work out exactly what it is. It looks like a boat wake, but the boat is missing. You can see some boats moored at the shore, but there isn’t one here. We’ve shown it to boat experts and they don’t know what it is. Whatever this is, it is under the water and heading south, so unless there have been secret submarine trials going on in the loch, the size of the object would make it likely to be Nessie.’
‘Now that we have spies in the skies above Loch Ness, maybe we will get more sightings which will whet the appetite of more down to earth Nessie hunters to come north. Furthermore, the use of satellite technology means that if Nessie is just swimming below the surface like in this case, we can still pick her up.’
Visit Dailymail.co.uk for additional information about this exiting development and the history of Nessie hunting.
Men who can’t cook, clean, or even do their own laundry are not “cute” and “in need of a woman to care for them”. They are spoiled brats so dependent on gender roles that they never bothered to learn the minimal skills to take care of themselves.
|14 years old:||I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.|
|17 years old:||Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?|
|21 years old:||What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?|
alright im going back to school tomorrow and im legit panicking im a senior now and im just really glad its my last year i just want to write this down and my phones is right in front of me so why not. i really have no reason to panic my new classes are easier than last year and i dont have those two teachers that trigger panic attacks but i fucked up highschool and if i dont get my shit straightened out this year i dont think ill be graduating but i have to keep an optimistic mind about all this, but its really hard with my step dad getting laid off and my mom living on social security checks and me being pressured to get a job and deal with school too i just got kidney stones and a UTI a WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL like damn the fuck. my sister moved out and i miss her i mean i still see her like every other day its just weirdnot seeing her all the time. and then im still dealing with trying to get my mom to understand the way that i feel about my body (im a trans guy pre-everything) i mean its rough but weve been through this before when my father passed and i know we will get through this just wish me luck guys :)
I’m stuck between wanting:
1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love
2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet
3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career
It scares me how accurate this is.